Monday, April 30, 2012

The Burdens

The burdens I carry from day to day
are like a heaviness placed upon my mind
and heart that pushes down upon my spine.
It is almost as if my spirit and soul has
parted ways.

The pain travels down to the pit
of my stomach. And I have the
bitter taste of guilt and shame
lingering in my throat.

Constantly having the hounding question
of, "What more could I have done?"
Playing over and over in my head like
a broken record.

I was afraid that I had held on to too much,
or that I had angered God to the point that He
wouldn't want me.

Yet somewhere below the burning pit,
I felt a calming presence calling to me;
telling me to let things go and to lean on Him.
Reminding me that He loves me no matter what,
and He will be waiting for me when I am ready.

Somehow I knew I needed to cry out
and pray to Him but I just couldn't find
the strength within me.

It was as if I was bolted where I sat
and gravity wouldn't let let me move no
matter how much I tried.

I felt like I had betrayed those whom I
loved or was responsible for. Like everything
that I ever worked for had just exploded.

These feelings and symptoms of the tragedies
that I have been through, won't run their coarse
in a week like a cold; or fade away over time like
an old picture.

I know I need to work through these feelings.
For if I don't, I could forever be trapped in this
lost and worthless state of mind.

Within my grasp is healing and growth,
if I would just grab the hand that has reached
out for me. Someday I will actually take His hand,
and when I do His strength will be mine.

It can be scary but fulfilling to release
the pressure I've carried for so long.
He will carry my burdens, my pain,
and my sorrows when I give them
to Him.

Peace is possible and attainable
for us all who carry those deep
burdens. But we all have to be
willing to lay them down.

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