Thursday, December 27, 2012

Crumbled Rock







Ever thought you were strong enough to bear
not only your problems but those of the ones
you love and care about?

Every day I wake, I pray for strength
to keep myself from falling apart
over a minute thing. Desperately wishing
for the day that nothing bothered me,
especially if it was something I couldn't
control.

Mountains made from molehills
in a split second. A comment,
an assumption from the lack
of details, or a reaction that
wasn't expected, is where it begins.

It is easy to get sucked up, chewed up,
and spit out by the somewhat childish
drama people play. Plagued by boredom
and or they just don't care is their motto.

Often people try to ignore the hurtful
things others say and do by defining
themselves as a strong willow tree,
no matter how much the wind blows
and bends them they never break.

If not the tree, we become someone's rock.
The solid rock on which everyone stands,
or the rock of ages full of wisdom and strength.

What people don't realize, is while we
are other people's rocks, we need someone
too. For within us, there is a raging war
to keep our strength, ravishing our hearts
and minds while the world and our loved ones
see a poker face as we try to hide our own troubles.

Being someone's rock is a privilege but hard thing
because they trust you with their life. They love and
respect you enough to think about what they do
because of how it might affect you.
On the other hand, they believe you don't have
the right to crumble.

No matter how strong and solid you think
a rock is, over time even the strongest rocks crumble
from too much stress.

There is only one solid rock that everyone
can stand and lean on through the ages
that will never crumble, it definitely isn't me.

Easy to see and try to fix the problems of another.
but blind or in denial of our own needs.
I can no longer be anyone's rock they need.

Pebbles of strength and wisdom for everyone
but myself becomes the norm. Others may see me
as solid or strong, but to me I'm just an old crumbled
rock.


Written By,
Claysong(C)

It's S.A.D.





Sleepiness and awakenness combined
with the feeling of broken is what I am.

Time keeps getting darker earlier,
not knowing what day it is or
whether it's five a.m or p.m.

Too tired to sleep, too tired to think.
Too tired to create, too tired to stay
awake. Too tired to remember to
eat and drink, too tired to do the normal
routines.

Everything forgotten because of a constant stage
of exhaustion. Mentally, physically, and sometimes
Spiritually drained becomes my normal pace.

Every Fall and Winter it fluctuates,
but sometimes it's worse than before.
With every day of hard rainfall or
extreme cold weather, I find myself
gravitating to my room and bed to isolate
and hibernate until Summer.

Plagued by a body that's practically
run down all over, it screams for an
overhaul. With no action taken,
my body goes on strike.

Too much pain to lay still too long,
too much pain to move to try and get
comfortable. In spite of it all, there's
no energy to do anything else but lay there.

Getting a good nights sleep between
nightmares, weird dreams, and a mind
that won't slow down to let me relax and
sleep, is like finding a needle in a haystack.
It takes forever.

This is more than depression, or a funk,
it's Winter blues, It's S.A.D~Seasonal
Affective Disorder. It feels like it sucks
the life out of you until the seasons change
and come full circle.


Written By,
Claysong(C)

Monday, December 17, 2012

Women are Veterans Too!





     Being a veteran is no respecter of age or gender.
Young or old we all played a role; still we had to be bold.

As we signed our contracts, we knew our souls were
being sold. We took jobs that were said only men
could hold, but our stories must be told.

                    Women are Veterans Too!

 Many times we are put aside, in certain situations
we are forced to hide. Even though we all aren't taken,
the title of Veteran is mistaken.

When out of uniform and identification is required,
people tend to lean toward men. Sometimes when
women give their military identification, we get a puzzled
or surprised look as if they are saying, "There is no way a
woman can be a veteran."

It is always a stairway for us to climb, no matter what
job or rank we hold. In order for us to get the support
and respect we need, we need equality in every aspect of life.

The absence of the public eye, society's belief constitutes
a lie. Women have to prove they are competent while men
must prove to be incompetent.

Often hidden from recognition, we are forced to be in submission.
They keep us right on the line where our loyalty seems lost
in time.

For we are never ashamed for the service for our Country;
what we want is proportional Equity.

Unified we work side by side, accomplishments accepted
with humbled pride.

We remain united in our goals of keeping a free democracy.
Saving others and ourselves from tyranny and hypocrisy.

                           Women Are Veterans Too!


Written By,
Claysong(C)

A Friendship Is...





    A friendship is more than an action, a caption,
or a mission. It is a golden union of two or more with
a vision.

To lovingly accept each other with our hearts and minds
wide open. To pick each other up when one becomes
broken.

Placed in each other's life for more than a season
or a reason.

No amount of mileage can keep us apart,
for we carry each other in our hearts.

You can call on me my friend,
no matter where or when.
I am grateful to be called your friend.



Written By,
Claysong(C)

Overflowing Pots






     Every decision we make in life whether big or small,
 will always have either a positive or negative affect on us
and others around us.

    Without meaning to, many of us tend to hold onto
negative words and actions in what seems like bottomless pots.

Many of our pots are overflowing with things from our past
that effect the present. If we aren't careful and don't maintain
them, they can spill into the future.

In order for me to move on and up in my life, I need to learn
how to take one problem at a time, deal with it then let it go.

As I slowly do this, each time I pour out either my own mistake
or something hurtful from someone else, it releases pressure.

Someday I want to write all my painful memories on balloons
and release them one by one. With that, I can forget them and
start to empty my pots.

I really wish getting rid of and forgetting painful memories were
as simple as letting balloons float away.

For me, it would take a million or more balloons just to pour
out one pot. There's not enough money or balloons in the world
to empty all my pots.

Every pot is a part of me. Some of those things in my pot have
either helped me to be who I am, or held me back from being
who I want to be.

Emptying a pot is very hard. With help, over time it can be done.
Every time I empty a pot, it blends me into being who I want
to be and turns me into who I am.



Written By,
Claysong(C)

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

A Child's Innocence




Precious in a parents' eyes, precious in a grandparents eyes
is the innocence and love of a child.

His or hers to give, live, and achieve the love, acceptance,
and time we all need to succeed.

As they grow, life can be challenging and cruel. It's up to us
to reach, teach, support, and believe in them as we rule.

Learning to live, give, laugh, and love is their life's degree;
the world is their constant University. Through it all,
there must be unity and diversity for them all.


Written By,
Claysong (C)

Unforgetable Impact



Unforgetable, that's what the memories are;
unforgetable though I'm far away it feels like they are near.

Like a memory of horror that clings to me; how the very
thought of it creates unthinkable dreams for me.

Never before in my life has something been more
unbelievably unforgetable.

Each and every night, that's how they stay with me,
that's why it's incredible. I can't seem to forget the
memories, they're just unforgetable.

It's impossible to just tell the dreams to leave my mind,
it's impossible sometimes to keep me from crying.
It's impossible, to tell my soul it was back then; it's unforgetable
no matter how hard I try.

The feelings of regret and guilt are impossible to forget;
for evermore I want a day to just be normal but I guess
I'm asking for too much.

Tomorrow if I could just get rid of the pain, I would
trade it all and never look back. Not a moment would
I want anyone to carry what I do; that's why I never say
anything, but it seems unforgetably impossible.


Written By,
Claysong (C)

Saturday, July 7, 2012

L.O.V.E






[L]istening to God's whisper among chaos brings

[O]ptimistic feelings when you're down

[V]ictory belongs to us through and with God

[E]very single day as we strive to do better.




Written By,
Claysong(C)

Ode to the Bible



O Holy Word
Your scriptures are brightly highlighted
It is the hour of God's infinite love.

For so long we stay in busyness and ignore you
until at our wits end do we become and seek Him.

The spark of ambition and dreams this worry-some
world holds onto, for tomorrow brings a new and
powerful way.

Fall on your knees,
O cling and listen to His heavenly messages
Oh word you are anointed
Oh anointed word, when Christ speaks
Oh Holy word, you are priceless and precious.



Written By,
Claysong(C)
(Inspired by O Holy Night)

Hearts Symphony



True love, the ultimate gift of one lonely heart beating while waiting
 for its soul mate to answer back by completing the song within.

Each of us has a Heart's Symphony that needs to be written,
but it can only be done when we are complete.

You will know when your symphony is finished when your heart
beats for that special someone the way it never beats for anyone else.
When its more than just in the heat of the moment.

Those feelings of knowing you would be lost or lonely without each other.
When the other person accepts you; faults, scars, and all and still brings
out the best in you. The one who can calm your fears and catch your
tears through the years and not hold them against you.

It's amazing when you go from a small song to a full Symphony.
Treasure it because true love is precious and priceless.



Written by,
Claysong(C)



Monday, April 30, 2012

The Burdens




The burdens I carry from day to day
are like a heaviness placed upon my mind
and heart that pushes down upon my spine.
It is almost as if my spirit and soul has
parted ways.

The pain travels down to the pit
of my stomach. And I have the
bitter taste of guilt and shame
lingering in my throat.

Constantly having the hounding question
of, "What more could I have done?"
Playing over and over in my head like
a broken record.

I was afraid that I had held on to too much,
or that I had angered God to the point that He
wouldn't want me.

Yet somewhere below the burning pit,
I felt a calming presence calling to me;
telling me to let things go and to lean on Him.
Reminding me that He loves me no matter what,
and He will be waiting for me when I am ready.

Somehow I knew I needed to cry out
and pray to Him but I just couldn't find
the strength within me.

It was as if I was bolted where I sat
and gravity wouldn't let let me move no
matter how much I tried.

I felt like I had betrayed those whom I
loved or was responsible for. Like everything
that I ever worked for had just exploded.

These feelings and symptoms of the tragedies
that I have been through, won't run their coarse
in a week like a cold; or fade away over time like
an old picture.

I know I need to work through these feelings.
For if I don't, I could forever be trapped in this
lost and worthless state of mind.

Within my grasp is healing and growth,
if I would just grab the hand that has reached
out for me. Someday I will actually take His hand,
and when I do His strength will be mine.

It can be scary but fulfilling to release
the pressure I've carried for so long.
He will carry my burdens, my pain,
and my sorrows when I give them
to Him.

Peace is possible and attainable
for us all who carry those deep
burdens. But we all have to be
willing to lay them down.


Written By,
Claysong(C)

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Reach Toward the Stars





When you feel all hope is lost, 
don't let your head fall in despair
or shed a tear. Instead, reach
toward the stars and grab the rope
that God lowers.


There are many times we get ourselves
in situations that aren't always our fault,
but every decision causes a reaction.


We pray and cry out to God, not only
to hear us; but to rescue and fix us from
the inside out. Sometimes we don't hear Him,
but He softly and tenderly calls out; "Look up,
reach toward the stars. Grab the rope and get
energized with my hope in you."


Look forward not back, look up not down;
the stars are reachable. Believe in yourself
as god believes in you. 


Reach Toward the Stars!




Written By,
Claysong(C)

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Dead Giveaway




No matter how hard we try to suppress
the shy, timid, lonely, or depressed 
child, he or she gets trapped inside our 
optimistic adult selves. Like two quarrelsome friends, 
our hearts and minds struggle to stay neutral.

Acting as if nothing is wrong,
our inner selves burst out while
we are trying to just go with the flow
and be seen and not heard.
Obviously the nervousness becomes
dead giveaways to everyone but us.

Receding from the world, 
we hide within ourselves trying to 
lock out pain and disappointment. 
Not only from others, but from ourselves. 

Carefully we guard our words and actions;
but there is nothing we can do about
our feelings. Instant downers as they
become dead giveaways and can't be swayed. 

Desperately we attempt to let the
happy-go-lucky, worry 'bout nothin'
child out and have fun. Then life happens 
and snaps us back to reality and we have to keep
our sanity.

Reaching out for what we once had
but will never again: no time limits,
no curfews, or no interest about what's 
in the news.

When gravity pulls us back down
to Earth, it's a shame what we hide
from others, but especially from ourselves.
It's a dead giveaway.


Written By,
Claysong(C)

Sunday, April 15, 2012

PTSD's Reflection



Forever trapped to wear one mask 
for the day and another for the night. 
Feeling like my life is a non-stop bullfight.

Lost in the sight of my own self,
I'm caught between putting on 
a smile and saying, "I'm fine."
Meanwhile, inside I'm falling
faster than sand in a timer,
desperately wanting to scream,
"I don't want to be confined anymore!"

Traveling within the walls of my mind,
I slide ever so slowly between my night-
mares and reality. Sometimes not knowing 
which is which is confusing.

These feelings keep me from being able
to determine whether I am angry or batty,
so I come off to others as a bully.

There are days on end that I will pull
all nighters or wake up every two hours
at a time. I would hide myself from the
world as if I had committed a crime.

Living with PTSD and Bi-polar disorder
leaves you feeling like a high functioning
mentally challenged ticking time bomb.
One that can crumble in a second like
eggshells.

With help, love, and a good support system,
we can blend into society and you would
never know. 

To get respect, you have to give it. 
You must remember, you never know
what a person has been through.

The very freedom we all have, is because
of those who have fought for this country.
Don't be a hinder but a helper.


Written By,
Claysong(C)

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Faith at the Darkest Moment by Haley Whitehall





Faith at the Darkest Moment
By Haley Whitehall

Keeping faith at the darkest moment is perhaps the hardest thing a person can do. Many times people lose a loved one, experience a natural disaster like Hurricane Katrina, fight to eek out an existence in a poor economy and blame God. Some go farther and even turn their back on Him. They wonder, “Why would He let me experience such pain? If He was there for me, He would have kept this from happening.”
God is there for us even in our darkest moments. He doesn’t protect us from pain; because it is from the pain we learn and grow. He has a plan for us. Our lives affect so many others. We can make a difference by sharing what we have learned. There is a divine purpose for each of us.
Faith at the darkest moment can take many forms. Some people are only fair weather Christians. Others do not think about God until the dark moment. Their life flashes before their eyes and they cry out to Him for help.
When experiencing a dark moment, we have two choices: gain strength by relying on Him and trusting Him, or turning away. Even if we turn away, God is there for us. He is patient and waits for us to return.
Zachariah, the protagonist in my debut novel Living Half Free, struggles with his faith. As a slave in the antebellum south, each day of his life is filled with pain. He witnesses and experiences abuse at his master’s hands. His mother raised him to be Christian, took him to church, but when he is sold and separated from her, his faith wavers. Each day is like a dark moment. He doesn’t know how much he can take.
But, God never gives us more than we can handle. Zachariah discovers his true strength. With the guidance of a Lillian a headstrong Cherokee woman, he takes on the racist south. Changing the minds and hearts of society would be like moving a mountain. But, even changing the views of one person makes a difference.
Sometimes we want it all, we are so occupied with the big picture that we are blinded to the little blessings. Zachariah learns to be grateful for each day. Have you?

Book Teaser for Living Half Free:

When Zachariah, a naïve mulatto slave, is sold to a Kentucky slave trader, and separated from his ma and sister, he realizes the true meaning of not having rights. Seeking escape, he falls in love with a Cherokee woman, under whose direction he learns to pass as white. But, he must find his voice, and the courage to stand up for his beliefs or else lose everyone he loves forever.

Bio: 

HALEY WHITEHALL has a B.A in history and has been studying the Civil War era since the 5th grade. She likes to write out of the box stories that feature an underdog. LIVING HALF FREE is her debut novel. Released February 29, the ebook can be found at Amazon, B&N, and Smashwords. Find out more about Haley through her website or connect with her on Twitter @HaleyWhitehall or Facebook.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

S.T.R.E.N.G.T.H




[S]tand, even though you want to fall
[T]rust someone other than yourself
[R]each out to help others
[E]njoy the peace that God gives you
[N]ever give into evil or temptations
[G]ive courage to those who need it
[T]reat God's word with respect
[H]old onto God's love and promises in your heart


Written By,
Claysong(C)