Thursday, December 27, 2012

Crumbled Rock







Ever thought you were strong enough to bear
not only your problems but those of the ones
you love and care about?

Every day I wake, I pray for strength
to keep myself from falling apart
over a minute thing. Desperately wishing
for the day that nothing bothered me,
especially if it was something I couldn't
control.

Mountains made from molehills
in a split second. A comment,
an assumption from the lack
of details, or a reaction that
wasn't expected, is where it begins.

It is easy to get sucked up, chewed up,
and spit out by the somewhat childish
drama people play. Plagued by boredom
and or they just don't care is their motto.

Often people try to ignore the hurtful
things others say and do by defining
themselves as a strong willow tree,
no matter how much the wind blows
and bends them they never break.

If not the tree, we become someone's rock.
The solid rock on which everyone stands,
or the rock of ages full of wisdom and strength.

What people don't realize, is while we
are other people's rocks, we need someone
too. For within us, there is a raging war
to keep our strength, ravishing our hearts
and minds while the world and our loved ones
see a poker face as we try to hide our own troubles.

Being someone's rock is a privilege but hard thing
because they trust you with their life. They love and
respect you enough to think about what they do
because of how it might affect you.
On the other hand, they believe you don't have
the right to crumble.

No matter how strong and solid you think
a rock is, over time even the strongest rocks crumble
from too much stress.

There is only one solid rock that everyone
can stand and lean on through the ages
that will never crumble, it definitely isn't me.

Easy to see and try to fix the problems of another.
but blind or in denial of our own needs.
I can no longer be anyone's rock they need.

Pebbles of strength and wisdom for everyone
but myself becomes the norm. Others may see me
as solid or strong, but to me I'm just an old crumbled
rock.


Written By,
Claysong(C)

It's S.A.D.





Sleepiness and awakenness combined
with the feeling of broken is what I am.

Time keeps getting darker earlier,
not knowing what day it is or
whether it's five a.m or p.m.

Too tired to sleep, too tired to think.
Too tired to create, too tired to stay
awake. Too tired to remember to
eat and drink, too tired to do the normal
routines.

Everything forgotten because of a constant stage
of exhaustion. Mentally, physically, and sometimes
Spiritually drained becomes my normal pace.

Every Fall and Winter it fluctuates,
but sometimes it's worse than before.
With every day of hard rainfall or
extreme cold weather, I find myself
gravitating to my room and bed to isolate
and hibernate until Summer.

Plagued by a body that's practically
run down all over, it screams for an
overhaul. With no action taken,
my body goes on strike.

Too much pain to lay still too long,
too much pain to move to try and get
comfortable. In spite of it all, there's
no energy to do anything else but lay there.

Getting a good nights sleep between
nightmares, weird dreams, and a mind
that won't slow down to let me relax and
sleep, is like finding a needle in a haystack.
It takes forever.

This is more than depression, or a funk,
it's Winter blues, It's S.A.D~Seasonal
Affective Disorder. It feels like it sucks
the life out of you until the seasons change
and come full circle.


Written By,
Claysong(C)

Monday, December 17, 2012

Women are Veterans Too!





     Being a veteran is no respecter of age or gender.
Young or old we all played a role; still we had to be bold.

As we signed our contracts, we knew our souls were
being sold. We took jobs that were said only men
could hold, but our stories must be told.

                    Women are Veterans Too!

 Many times we are put aside, in certain situations
we are forced to hide. Even though we all aren't taken,
the title of Veteran is mistaken.

When out of uniform and identification is required,
people tend to lean toward men. Sometimes when
women give their military identification, we get a puzzled
or surprised look as if they are saying, "There is no way a
woman can be a veteran."

It is always a stairway for us to climb, no matter what
job or rank we hold. In order for us to get the support
and respect we need, we need equality in every aspect of life.

The absence of the public eye, society's belief constitutes
a lie. Women have to prove they are competent while men
must prove to be incompetent.

Often hidden from recognition, we are forced to be in submission.
They keep us right on the line where our loyalty seems lost
in time.

For we are never ashamed for the service for our Country;
what we want is proportional Equity.

Unified we work side by side, accomplishments accepted
with humbled pride.

We remain united in our goals of keeping a free democracy.
Saving others and ourselves from tyranny and hypocrisy.

                           Women Are Veterans Too!


Written By,
Claysong(C)

A Friendship Is...





    A friendship is more than an action, a caption,
or a mission. It is a golden union of two or more with
a vision.

To lovingly accept each other with our hearts and minds
wide open. To pick each other up when one becomes
broken.

Placed in each other's life for more than a season
or a reason.

No amount of mileage can keep us apart,
for we carry each other in our hearts.

You can call on me my friend,
no matter where or when.
I am grateful to be called your friend.



Written By,
Claysong(C)

Overflowing Pots






     Every decision we make in life whether big or small,
 will always have either a positive or negative affect on us
and others around us.

    Without meaning to, many of us tend to hold onto
negative words and actions in what seems like bottomless pots.

Many of our pots are overflowing with things from our past
that effect the present. If we aren't careful and don't maintain
them, they can spill into the future.

In order for me to move on and up in my life, I need to learn
how to take one problem at a time, deal with it then let it go.

As I slowly do this, each time I pour out either my own mistake
or something hurtful from someone else, it releases pressure.

Someday I want to write all my painful memories on balloons
and release them one by one. With that, I can forget them and
start to empty my pots.

I really wish getting rid of and forgetting painful memories were
as simple as letting balloons float away.

For me, it would take a million or more balloons just to pour
out one pot. There's not enough money or balloons in the world
to empty all my pots.

Every pot is a part of me. Some of those things in my pot have
either helped me to be who I am, or held me back from being
who I want to be.

Emptying a pot is very hard. With help, over time it can be done.
Every time I empty a pot, it blends me into being who I want
to be and turns me into who I am.



Written By,
Claysong(C)